A man took to reddit to reveal his predicament after being raped by a woman at a party while drunk. He says he can’t find someone who believes him and his girlfriend dumped him saying he had been unfaithful.
In a post called ‘I was raped but my gf thinks I cheated on her and won’t talk to me. Is there anything I can do to prove I’m telling the truth?’ he seeks help from other users.
The man who is probably from the UK writes: All your advice will be much appreciated. I don’t want to go into too much detail but I got too drunk at a party my gf and I were attending, and she left a bit early with her friend who was unwell.
‘I don’t usually get drunk and I’m a bit of a light weight so as it was getting late I just crashed in one of the bedrooms upstairs.
‘Later on at some time I’m not sure of I wake and someone is on top of me. I was extremely groggy and as soon I realised it wasn’t [my gf] I began to panic. I couldn’t really move and I think my body just froze?
‘Like I really wanted to scream but nothing came out and she wouldn’t get off me. I swear I tried. I feel sick and disgusted with myself. I don’t know this girl and I could’ve probably put a stop to it had I not reacted like I did. I admit that much is my own fault. I woke up and it seems a bit unclear now but I cried when I got home and I thought of what the hell I needed to do while I took a shower.’
He goes on to explain that someone at the party saw the act take place and informed his girlfriend who went on to block his number and he has since received ‘unpleasant’ messages from mutual friends.
He continues: ‘(My girlfriend) is the person I go to when something is wrong and I can’t get through to her. Her sister is my best friend and she won’t talk to me and hates me now.
‘The only other person I trust is her mum but I just can’t bring myself to tell anyone what happened. They would laugh. I’m a big guy and no one would believe me. I feel horrible and I can’t stop crying. I’m alone. The person I love most wants nothing to do with me and believes I would cheat on her. I wouldn’t and never wanted to.
‘I would go to the police but they probably wouldn’t take me seriously and I can’t picture her face properly anyway. Is there anything I can do?’
Many respondents to the post have been supportive and have advised him to report the case to the police.
After hearing others’ experience with male rape the original poster later updated his readers to say he was planning to book a doctors appointment and has had a response from his girlfriend who has agreed to talk.
In a UK survey, 3% of the men surveyed say they had experienced non-consensual sex as adults and crime figures for the UK and Wales show that in 2014, there were 3,580 rapes against men with the majority of rapists being men.
Men can however be sexually abused by women but under UK law, it is not defined as rape.